Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
At this point, in my parent stage, there is no sheltering. Well, maybe in the words i use. Three kids, divorced, i have the kids all but 10-11 hours a week.. I'm their primary care giver. My depression, anxiety, Ms, is acknowledged. I'm the open honest one. Their dad isn't honest about his borderline, bi polar, alcoholism.
Sooo...my boys turn to me, to talk about the important things. They can't always get what they want, why should they?
I'm struggling, right now, with their brotherly squabbling, that gets physically out of hand. I'd rather be exhausted, than listen to their father bark at them, and instead of supportive teamwork, added stress...
why are you disconnected, from your feelings?
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It has always been hard for me to tell how I feel at any given moment. The big ones, happy, sad I can manage but everything else is a bit harder to identify. So I have to periodically self check. What behaviors am I exhibiting? Ok so I must be feeling x. It is just a part of my depression. A disconnectedness from everyone including myself.
Right now, I am so busy that I forget to self check. One part of my brain knows I am overwhelmed but cannot get the message to the rest of me so it starts behaving badly in the hopes of getting noticed.
Weird, I know