He's not independent if he still lives with his mother.

Des, put this post together with the one about "outgrowing" your husband. It's being in touch with this guy that is causing the problems, Sweety. Things wouldn't be the same, trust me! You just want to recapture the old feelings with this guy and it's not a good idea, especially for your kids. This wouldn't be "growing", it would be regressing! You do want your lost youth back, but there's no going back now that you are responsible for your children.

It's a tough road, but you can do it if you put it in the right perspective.