My boyfriend of nearly a year recently cheated on me and lied about it repeatedly after he was caught. I've never been cheated on, so I'm not sure how I feel, what I think, or what to do.

My relationship history has been rocky at best - my last significant one was almost five years ago with a man to whom I was engaged, but who was also both mentally and physically abusive. Needless to say, it took several years to get past the trust issues caused by that.

I met by current boyfriend and things were working out extremely well. I even opened up and actually allowed myself to fall in love with him over time. He's been cheated on in the past (pretty significantly) and has always been incredibly thoughtful, loving, understanding, and patient with me (I have mild OCD).

He travels extensively in the US for work, and reconnected with an ex of his in Oklahoma via good ol' Facebook (ruining relationships since 2004!). What started as simply checking in turned into extensive flirting to the point that he told her he wanted to see how she fit into his life because he was considering a move to Oklahoma. He hid all of our relationship details on Facebook so he could pursue her, and sent her text after text telling her how much he wanted her, how beautiful she is, how perfect she is... All the same things he said to me when he was pursuing me. It was the exact same pattern, actually.

She caught him lying about having dumped me (obviously he didn't because I was clueless to all of this) and reached out to me directly, providing screenshots of their texts, including dates and timestamps that aligned with his recent travel schedule. When I confronted him, he lied. I have been steadily getting to the truth, but it has taken three days of endless questions. The one he will not answer, however, is why - and that's what I need to know most.

At this point I don't know what to do. I have been strong and have supported myself 100% my entire adult life. This is the first time a man has treated me poorly and I haven't left immediately without a word or glance backward. I love him and I want to be with him, but I do not and cannot trust him. How can I believe that the man I fell in love with is really even there anymore? Was it all lies? Is it even possible for a relationship to come back from this?

He has begged and pleaded with me to stay, and for now I have to as I have nowhere to go for a few weeks. I feel that if I stay I will be compromising my beliefs and values, but I also feel that I might miss out on what could be a good thing long-term (though that's doubtful as he's lied about other girls in the past, just in much more minor scenarios).