I just happened to find the paperwork from my July hospitalization a few days ago. They placed my GAF at 49. Pretty good I think.

I'm actually very high functionin even in the grip of a nasty episode. Even in august when I was psychotic and manic as hell I could hide it. Hell I was in the ER getting stitches for a cut wrist and then at a concert with my sister in law a few hours later. She never knew.

In my family that's just what you do. Suck it up buttercup and act like it's ok. It's only when I can't take it anymore that I crack, and it's always a conscious decision. Except for rage and self injury which are often impulsive in a mixed state.