I know i haven't been around a lot lately. I've been busy with school and stuff at the group home. I've been trying to work on a lot of my problems. So I have to tell you what's gone on. Normally I take Seroquel 50 mg twice a day, and Seroquel 100mg at night, in the morning I take Prozac 20mg. Those are the meds the psychdoc at the ward gave me the first visit. So I get an outpatient psychdoc 3 weeks ago who takes me off my Seroquel 50mg altogether and ups my prozac to 40mg. Ever since then I plummeted into suicidal thoughts. I made a plan, was putting my affairs in order and was acting out my plan (I won't describe what I was going to do but it would have killed me three different ways at once).

However the staff at the house caught me and shipped me off to the psych ward, I was there for a week, the house called my T told her I needed to reschedule, so we rescheduled for 3pm today. That was yesterday, however I told the house I needed to work and had to reschedule myself. So I did so for ten am on 3/5. Well my work calls and tells me not to come in until tomorrow. So I call my T and go, "I was wondering if you filled my spot yet?" In a matter of hours she filled my spot.

I know it's okay for her to do so, but it just put me off. I joked with her that I was so easily replaceable. She said "You know that's not true." and I told her I was joking. But I have to admit it IS a bit off putting. I'm glad she filled it in a way because she's helping someone else instead of sitting there doing nothing. It was disappointing that once again I realize it's a business.