Chris, thanks...I was lucky yesterday and got to spend all day with my daughter and my grandchildren again... it was a wonderful day just playing with my grandson that is 20 months old and my granddaughter that is 2 weeks old normally she don't let anyone but Mom hold her and I was able to hold her almost the whole time... it was wonderful...having them around my mind thinks of nothing else.

As for ECT...the first time I had 5 sessions about 2 years ago... they went fine... I did it as an out patient and it helped for almost the whole 2 years.... this last time I had 8 sessions and I had lost my memory, I didn't even know my own phone number... I guess I got really light headed and ended up in the ER and passed out on them there and they did a cat scan... I got the bill and had to call my niece who had been taking care of me at that time and ask about it...I was suppose to have 10 sessions but my family only allowed 8 because of how bad I had gotten. After a while things got better but still after a few months there are things I don't remember. I found my suicide note and all the bad memories came rushing back and I ended up back in the hospital. I also see a change in my attitude...I am more open and sometimes say the things I am thinking and normally wouldn't have said and just held it all in. The other day I was talking to a crisis therapist and all she wanted was for me to check into the ER... I told her no way... I went to see my grandchildren and daughter instead... It was a two hour drive but well worth it and then she told me I got to spend time with them yesterday because they were coming to town here for a doctors appointment.

As long as you have someone looking out for your well being while having ECT it isn't a bad thing to have. I was still really scared while having them but I did get through it just fine. I think not right now but in a few years if I needed it again I would go with it but only 5-6 times again instead of them trying 10 times. I think the 8-10 times were a little to much.