rainbow8- Thanks, I really feel like you understand. It makes me feel a little better to hear your example of being unable to cry. I wonder if for many of us there is something that we never get to with our Ts. I'm sorry you haven't been able to cry with her. I completely get what you mean about how that for you means that you are not fully connected. I feel the same way about not looking at her- I don't feel that connection without it. I just feel distant and withdrawn. It's funny because my T has actually used the same metaphor to describe what I do- she has said that it seems like I think she can't see me. I think I'm afraid that I care too much, and if I were to look at her, I'd see that she doesn't care as much as I want her to, which would be really painful. Thanks, that's a good idea to have my T close her eyes so I can look at her. I'm not sure that she would allow it, but maybe I'll see what she thinks. I've also thought about playing a 20 Questions game where we could each pick an object and try to guess what it is (to get me looking around the room). But I was too afraid to play that today.