Hope your appointment goes well and I hope you feel some relief from your feelings soon. I hear what you are saying about how awful you feel and my heart breaks for you. I am supporting a friend of mine right now who is going thru the same thing and it is really hard. I hope that you will keep reaching out for help, and if you can, remember patience. I keep telling my friend, you will get well, it is just a question of time, and unfortunately no one can tell you how long it is going to be, but you will get better. I used to repeat to myself when I was depressed "this too shall pass"

Hugs
Helen from Ontario Canada.....its darn cold up here!