Hi UmightKnowme,

Hi all, as well....I've never posted in here before, but this caught my eye.

I am not DID either, actually I am PTSD/anxiety/depression. The reason I am posting is because I suffer anxiety to a very high level. I am in talk therapy and on meds as well. I can completely relate to what you experienced.

It is brave of you to bring this to light for yourself and it's the first step toward learning to contain it (if that's possible). I experience periods of extreme dissociation. I kept this from my T for a very long time because I actually thought I was having a medical problem, also I've remembered periods of my life and youth where I've done this.

In my case, I would feel "high" and "unreal" like nothing was real. I would not be able to see or hear clearly and nothing I did snapped me out of this. It was like a veil was over everything and I could not concentrate very well. I always knew where I was and how I got there, but feared it would become so overwhelming that I would blackout or something. I used to faint when I did this at 19.

I could eat or drink or breathe and I could not control it like I could my anxiety--I was very afraid because I could not get out of it. This period would last several hours to several days and made me very paranoid. I could not trust that what was happening around me was real or not. I was afraid to drive. When others drove me my body jerked and reacted as if I was doing the driving and when I tried to rationalize to myself and tell myself I wasn't driving, I kept thinking, but what if I'm wrong and I really am driving??? Basically I couldn't trust my own mind or body. I could even tell someone that I feel really weird and I could lay down, but it had to wear off or I had to take loads of xanax and knock myself out and hope to wake up without this feeling.

My pdoc and therapist told me I was dissociating. In my case I would get creeping anxiety that would intensify and they believe that it was my mind's way of protection from what it sensed as danger. The problem is, that often there was no danger in the present moment but my mind (due to past trauma) hasn't learned to react properly and cannot differentiate that. it was trying to protect me and perhaps something triggered it but its hard to say because my mind has skewed perception and my coping strategies not working appropriately.

They were quick to try to get this under control, and upped my anti depressants to double the dose! This was 2 weeks ago and I have yet to experience another "episode" of this.

Talk to someone about it and see if they can offer suggestions on how to cope during these scary moments.

Just want you to know you're not alone.