I think that deep down you know what you want to do, I am sorry if I am wrong, I dont mean to hurt your feelings. You keep going around in circles, but imo, and again if I am wrong I deeply apologize. I think if you were not expelled from dropping your t from school you would, first of all, you would drop your tt , you would quit your dbt group, because really , they are not doing you a bit of good because you are not ready for them at the moment. so in my oppinion, your ideal world, would include, your financial support from your family, only your lcm in your life, functioning as your t and your lifecoach and your ed t and your tt and your mom and your friend, and possibly your tt. and trust me, if that you make you grow and be healthy in your future, i wish it would come true for you, but that would be just a fantasy I guess.