Oh my! I actually told him.

I led in to it with a discussion about my thoughts around attachment and that I noticed that I have become quite curious about him in the last few weeks, and wondered if that was indicative of the therapeutic relationship becoming better. Finally after a year.

Then I said, knowing that I trust you more now I trust I can tell you something without judging me too much? Of course he said. I told him he better sit down then, as he was opening a window for me and he looked at me with mock fear.

He took it really well and said he understood. He also looked a little surprised and said "I didn't know I WAS google-able now". LOL. I told him to have a go himself. Of course we had to have a discussion about why I felt the need to and why now, and what I found and what it meant........siiiiiiiiigh. But I just had to do it as I was feeling so guilty.

I can say that it was a really rewarding experience to be able to be that open about something that I was embarrassed, a little ashamed and guilty about. (Although I didn't tell him exactly EVERYTHING I found).

Thank you to those of you that thought I ought to tell him.... it helped me