I'm sorry you are struggling so much. Can you contact your therapist maybe?

It can be really difficult to distract, but some things that work for me are:
-listening to music I like,
-art to try to express some of what I'm feeling (or wanting to do to myself at the time. And it doesn't have to be a masterpiece),
-taking a long walk with my dogs (sometimes I justify their crappy leash manners as added distraction),
-watch an intensely- engaging show or movie (I find really graphic things help me distract and get some relief from the urges because I'm visually "indulging" them by watching really graphic shows),
- journaling,
-using the crisis chart line at crisischat.org because I type easier than I speak...

I hope you can find some safe relief.

Also, congrats on the three years, that's incredible! Is there anything you can think of that you have done in those three years that helped you through difficult times?