I haven't 'added' any friends in a while, so I might be wrong, but I thought there was a 'are you sure you want to add [Name] as a friend?' confirmation after clicking on the 'add' button? She accidentally clicked twice?


I see how it could push a button for you (no pun intended), with what has gone on for you before...


But if that happened to me I think I'd be more upset by the add and the consequent DELETE than the thought that T was curious enough to look up my profile... especially as you'd kinda sorta finished with this T? So maybe thought the friend request was genuine? I think that might leave me feeling quite hurt.


As for new T... Don't look for excuses to ditch her! (I don't mean that to sound harsh just a lil' tough love!) You seemed to like her fine until she started picking up on things...? She sounds sharp as a whip. Now you're finding things in her behaviour you don't like.. You find her 'scary' in her 'animated'-ness...? I'm a quiet person, too, and I can see how you might find such things off putting... but perhaps you could talk with her about just what you think has you feeling so intimidated?


I think there is something in this, though, in that being challenged by this T could be a good thing... I think you'd be the first to admit there was something of a comfort zone with old T, and she wasn't really challenging you at all (at least not any more). Perhaps it's something of a shock to the system, or maybe you don't feel quite ready... or, who's to say, maybe she's not a good fit for you after all.. but if I were you I think I'd try to stick it out a while longer while I tried to figure out my true deep down motivations - 'am I running away? What from?' (Speaking personally because I've found I do that, and sometimes I really have to catch myself) - so that if I do walk away, move on to something else, I can be more sure it's for the right reasons.


My second T can be somewhat more directive and forthright than the first, and doesn't hesitate to pick up on a lot of things in my patterns and behaviours - 'your leg is shaking, why?' 'Are you aware you're doing this?' 'You tend to emphasise that word...' and on and on - and I have found it can be quite challenging, depending on what mood I'm in , but have also found the approach useful.. Clueing me in to be more aware of what I'm doing, how I'm feeling - because otherwise those things can and do escape my notice. And that translates out to the bigger picture.


While I find my second T's approach helpful and refreshing as an addition to what I'm doing, I still see my regular T for the bulk of the work, and feel that the therapeutic relationship with her is where much of the healing is as I work through my attachment issues and beyond. I do wonder if I would feel that my second T - while excellent and capable and kind - would feel 'enough' for me at the stage I'm at. I suppose I wonder if that's how you might feel about this Gestalt T? That she isn't enough? Because maybe on some level you're wanting to 'replace' the maternal figure and level of connection you had with old T?


I don't know how relevant my experience is, but sharing on the off-chance!