I believe it was your lucky day that you found out your insurance would not pay for you to have the gastric bypass surgery. And I also believe that you are being too quick to envy your sister who is having the gastric bypass surgery. I have been overweight the majority of my life and I have known a lot of people who have had this surgery done with much regret. So many people have so many bad side effects with the gastric bypass surgery including diarrhea on a daily basis. I also have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome for over 25 years. I had diarrhea between one and 8 times per day. I wouldn't wish that type of daily diarrhea on my worst enemy. I have also read recent studies that say that over 50% of people who have had the gastric bypass surgery become alcoholics. They say that most overweight people are addicted to food and once the food is removed from their life by the means of gastric bypass surgery, they replace their food addiction with an alcohol addiction. Anyone who qualifies for the gastric bypass surgery is enough overweight that it makes having surgery of any kind a much higher risk to the patient. It is more important to realize why you overeat and try to learn how to avoid overeating than to try and get a quick fix with a surgery. I started by new diet on January 2, 2006 for probably the 25th time. You know, turn over a new leaf for the new year. However, this time I realized that my IBS and constant diarrhea was keeping me at home almost constantly. I didn't go out of the house more than once a month with my husband for a "date". With the encouragement of my 33 year old son, I was able to realize that if I quit eating the foods that aggravated my IBS, I would also lose weight. Suddenly being able to leave my house at will became much more important to me than the ice cream in the freezer. By November 2006, I had lost 82 pounds. I am wearing trendy clothes now rather than fat lady clothes. I am getting out of the house and loving it. But the most important thing I had to realize was that I had to not care if I had my favorite meals or meals that really tasted good to me. Everything I ate was good food, but it meant a baked potato without butter and sour cream. I learned to like that same potato with salt, pepper, and a spray of butter Pam. I gave up fats, sugars and most dairy products since they all effect my IBS. I ate and still eat the same meals that I fix for my husband. I just don't add things to the foods except for salt and pepper. I guess the trick for me to be able to finally lose weight is that I wanted something more important than the bad foods I was eating. Can you think of something more important to you rather than the bad foods? Perhaps your daughter's size and health would be more important to you than the bad foods. I don't suggest that you ever "put" your daughter on a diet. I don't think it ever works when one person "puts" another on a diet. I think as adults we have to want to diet ourselves. In the case of a child, I think it is important to change the eating habits of everyone in the house. Rather than cookies and milk as an after school snack, a piece of fresh fruit and 2% milk would be a good idea. You can make lots of meals lower in calorie by just reducing the fat content by not making the gravies and such. And perhaps you and your daughter could engage in some type of physical activity even if it is a walk in the evening. Something that would be good quality time spent with your daughter as well as help you both burn up some extra calories and thereby help you both feel more energized. Your daughter would never have to know that she is on a "diet". And how wonderful you would feel not only by weighing less yourself but by helping your daughter by showing her the proper way to eat to be a normal size and healthy. My heart goes out to you for the situation that you are in presently. I am really hoping that you will be able to find the motivation that you need to be able to help yourself and your daughter. And even though I don't know you, I am glad that you will not be having the gastric bypass surgery. Once you have gained control of your eating habits and have your weight under control, you will be able to eat whatever foods you want, in moderation, unlike the patients of the gastric bypass surgery. Plus, it is also proven that a large majority of people who have lost weight initially with the gastric bypass surgery, will once again stretch their stomachs and become able to eat more and more food. These people's weight levels out for a time and then they start gaining their weight back. And will then be fat with the stomach mutilated.

My thoughts are with you.
Caobe