I had a total thyroidectomy in September and felt better for a while. But with all the stresses going on right now, I snapped. I just broke in half yesterday and cried for an hour. An ugly, snot flinging, tears flying cry. My head and eyes hurt still this morning from it. And I am on the verge of it again even now.

The trigger is irrelevant. It was bound to happen.

Everyone in my life convinced me that my "problems" were thyroid related. If that were true, things would be getting better for me, not worse.

I was taking Tirosint (synthroid) that brought me to the lower normal half. Still hypothyroid but not extreme. I actually felt better mentally when my test numbers were lower. Anyway, I started T3 treatment as well and this should be making me feel better. Physically, it has started to help but mentally it's not. At all. Which makes me believe that my thyroid isn't to blame for all my issues. It's just me. Who I am.

I feel worthless. And irrelevant. And weak. I can't do anything right.

I'm fat. I don't take care of myself. I'm lucky if I can get the kids and the dogs taken care of everyday. All I want to do it sit in front of the computer and zone out. Just be anywhere other than where I am.

It's not fair to my kids. I'm barely present for them. I don't play with them. I'm a failure as a mom.

I messed things up financially for us. I made a mistake that might cost my husband the job he wants so bad. I can't keep the house clean and the laundry is always piled up. Some days, he's lucky to have a clean towel. I'm a failure as a wife.

My husband tells me to just stop. But he doesn't get that this is how i feel. It's not for attention. It's not to make him feel sorry for me. It's embarrassing to feel like this. It's not fun.

I just don't know what to do.