After I left my first T, I still grieved her for a long time, so when I was seeing her "replacement", I was still focused on my former T, and not on the present one. I liked her and all, but it wasn't the same. I saw her for about 2 years, and never developed the attachment like I have to a couple of my other Ts, and the one I see now. Could that be it for you? You're not "letting this new T in" yet?

I understand your saying you almost miss the agony!! Now that I see my T in a more real way, I miss the intense feelings I used to have for her. Well, they still come and go, but it's different from the way it was.

Not everyone experiences the same with each T. It could be too soon, or like I said, you could be holding off because of loyalty? maybe to your former T.
Do you think you could discuss this with your T? It might be important.