Dear T

Where the hell do I start? I am tired with this stupidity of mine. B/P & SI aren't going to help, its not going to change anything, other than to make me feel worse about myself. Why do I do it? The SI wasn't even 'bad', it was a half hearted attempt at feeling something other than what I was feeling.
Your text this morning was lovely, thanks for that. It helps me to know that you are thinking of me.
I really wish I could have a hug from you right now. I hope I am brave enough to ask on Monday.
Just 1 final text to see me through the weekend would be nice, but I shouldn't ask (or expect) so much from you, I understand that.
I am hurting so much right now, but no doubt i'll walk into your room on Monday and be all like "I am fine, everything is fine, life is fine...FINE FINE FINE". I want to say that I feel useless, hopeless, miserable etc, but whats the point? Its not new and its boring to talk about. I expect its boring for you to hear too.
*sigh* Why is life so hard?
HT.