Pomegranate - A snake shedding it's skin...that's a good metaphor for emptiness. I think the scary thing is that I don't know my real self that well and of course we want people to like us and support us. So I get confused - am I being one way for them or for myself.

I did take a big risk in a book club the other week. The subject turned to service - giving and receiving service. Most people spoke about pride keeping them from asking for help. I tentatively brought up the fact that the reason I have such a hard time asking for help is that I fear no one will respond - no one would come. I was holding back tears. And I didn't get jumped on and maybe it opened a few people's eyes. I just know that for me if I ask and then I get rejected or disappointed I feel even lower and that is not where I want to go.