I get the feeling that the rational mind is our safety place that we go to when the feelings are too strong. It can be a defense mechanism to protect us from pain. I don't think its a bad sign that you touch and pull back. My therapist describes the exploration like peeling an onion. Each time you go a little deeper - but not until you are ready - and it gets easier every time.

You must be ready for this now. I haven't gotten very good at the past yet myself. It's still a blank space for the most part. Certain facts about my past stir me up, but I can't do events yet. It's almost like they don't exist because I can't remember them. I often feel like there's a hole in my life.

I also think that eventually as we swing between to poles, the extremes become less extreme until we find the center.