I lost a grandparent a couple years back to cancer. Sometimes I feel like people don't realize how hard it can be. we lived with them for awhile, so my grandparent was in some ways like a second parent.
I have a hard time expressing my feelings, especially around family. I'm learning to let people see me cry, but I still don't talk about him much, and especially not about the sickness, his death, or funeral. Part of me wants to talk about it and part of me doesn't...but somehow part of me needs to. Problem is, I can literally sit there and can't get a word to come out. Or try to write, and nothing comes out.
I'm embarrassed to bring it up because I feel like everyone else has already come to terms with it; they think about him, but no one thinks about his death or funeral everyday like I do.
Any suggestions on ways to cope, and learn to express my feelings?