In August 2012 I went into a 2 week residential trauma program (with a lot of support from some people here)...when I got out I wrote the following:
I have put in red the things I still know or have accomplished.
Although I stopped therapy a year ago, I think that was the best decision for me, and made a huge improvement in my life.
I just thought I'd share...
Quote:
Hi all. For those who don't know, I spent the last two weeks in a residential trauma program with 7 other women. We didn't focus on actual trauma, but reducing the symptoms of PTSD. It was good for me since I have isolated myself off from the real world for the past few years. I had 4 groups a day, including Sat/Sun, and half hour t appointments daily, as well as several psychiatric consults. Here's my take away.
1 – I am not totally unlikable.
2 – I need to process the mastectomy with a female t
3 – I can handle one on one with a female who is age 35-50, but no older.
4 – My PTSD symptoms are not freaky or weird. (many other woman have the same thoughts)
5 – I am not a virus, the ickiness I feel won’t rub off on others
6 – Group therapy isn’t that bad
7 – I don’t have to go in depth about my trauma history, ever.
8 – EMDR would not be good for me.
9 – DBT is not a good fit.
10 – I need structure in my life, and should stick to a daily schedule
11 – I have body dysmorphic disorder. (not social anxiety disorder, not agoraphobia)
12 – I cannot save the earth single-handedly, nor is it my responsibility to protect and care for every creature I meet. (still working on this one)
13 – I should meet with current t and ask for a referral to a female t at least temporarily. (I dumped him right after this post)
New Therapy Goals:
1 – Manage my obsessive thoughts/stop rituals around checking my physical flaws.
2 – Stop thinking that everyone dislikes me.
3 – Acknowledge my feelings/fears about the cancer
4 – Stop isolating and go out in public at least once per day.
5 – Change careers. (I now work with animals way more than I do accounting)
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The big thing that came from this is that I realized T makes me worse, way worse. The week to week stress was killing me. I read this now and I am so freaking glad that I went to that program.
It is cool that we can go back in time and read old threads and see how far we've come, isn't it?