[QUOTE=Asiablue;3614240]

It sounds like i have a healthy attachment to the new T doesn't it? So why doesn't it feel healthy? It feels to me like something is missing, i almost miss the agony of the maternal transference (almost )

Wow yes exactly. Except mine paternal transference and wishing I would just SAY how I'm feeling instead of squirming. Do you manage to tell yours how you feel about her?

I also relate to the 'gonna die' if they're not there scenario. I wouldn't actually be that extreme but can't imagine not having one person (who's always totally unavailable/distant figure) that I'm not emotionally dependent on.