but i'm imploding..

Freshy in college who's seemed to lost all friends at once.

Birthday is coming up this weekend.

No one wants to go.

My sister, 2 old best friends, all have boyfriends now.

My one best friend hasn't spoken to me hardly at all and when she told me she wasn't coming to my birthday I was like "Okie! Thx for letting me know!"
And she said "You don't even care?'
....
Right.. because me trying to be a part of her life all year has been me not caring. When everytime she's chosen her boyfriend over me.

My sister promised to take me to the movies this week, instead she went with her boyfriend.

So im trying to act casual and proffesional with everyone as if they were a client or employer. And then I get accused of not caring.

I told her straight up that i've been feeling a mess and in need of some help.
She never replied.
Tonight she tells me she doesn't know what to do when I struggle.
I don't blame her.
But ignoring me makes it worse when I actually try to ask for help.
Because asking for help isn't easy.