My first real experience was age 16 when I had my first very serious major depression. That memory is forever etched in my brain.

After getting into therapy and finally being diagnosed 14 years later. Looking back and feedback from family, I was clearly manic prior to my first major depression. I was always on the go, high energy, and non stop. I remember as a teen during the summer vacations I would play tennis and or basketball 12-13 hours a day and never feel tired.

My first three major depressions (16 - 18 & 21) were all preceded by a horrible panic attack. My first at age 16 was so bad I passed out and had a seizure.

For me it is a very different experience at a younger age because in addition to dealing with BP, the mind has not developed to a point where you can even begin to understand what is going on in your head. I am 44 now and have had 4 major depressions since my last one at age 21. None have been preceded by a panic attack.

What I have found interesting in the past few years is I have been experiencing mixed episodes which I have never experienced before. For me its been either "normal", "manic", or "depressed" for long periods of time. For the past few years I can be up for a few days, then depressed for a few. I honestly think my increased use of alcohol played more of a roll in that than BP. I have not had a drop for 3 weeks and I am sleeping normally, focused, no depression, etc.