She lives far away from me, so seeing her is hardly an option. Even on the off chance she did wish to see me, it would be hard to justify making a trip. But I would still see her anyway.

I may get a reply, though I'm not sure how encouraging it would be. To be honest, I'm very hesitant to open up the flood gates with her, though I'll do it eventually. If I weren't to end up in a relationship with her, or at least come close to it, it's probably best for me to filter her out of my life. But it's a hard realization to bear, and an even harder one to live through.

After all this time, I wonder if she's the reason I feel so empty in my life right now or if there's something else going on. She's definitely a huge part of it, but maybe, I've spent so much time focusing on her I'm not even sure where else to go?