My former T was never defensive. He actually welcomed it when I told him I was angry with him. The first time I confronted him about something, he actually gave me a huge grin and said, "That's great"! I wouldn't have been surprised if he had given me a standing ovation.

He would say, "It's always a good day to be mad at your therapist", or "It's always a good day to blame the therapist". It was his way of acknowledging and validating my feelings and reactions. He always strived for better communication and rapport with me, and his non-defensiveness was such a gift.

I miss him.