[QUOTE=liquidfox;3615093]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
It sounds like i have a healthy attachment to the new T doesn't it? So why doesn't it feel healthy?  It feels to me like something is missing, i almost miss the agony of the maternal transference (almost  )
Wow yes exactly. Except mine paternal transference and wishing I would just SAY how I'm feeling instead of squirming. Do you manage to tell yours how you feel about her?
I also relate to the 'gonna die' if they're not there scenario. I wouldn't actually be that extreme but can't imagine not having one person (who's always totally unavailable/distant figure) that I'm not emotionally dependent on. |
I'm sorry i missed this earlier, i didn't see it at all.
I think you might just have tapped on something! With exT she was kind of unavailable, didn't disclose much of herself and i really wanted her approval her care her affection.... and i worked so hard to get that and when i did get some of that in a small way it was like i'd won the jackpot. It became like a high i had to chase. It became a precious commodity and it maybe was something i was repeating from childhood... something i didn't get enough of.
Whereas with this T.... she's very available to me, she's fairly open about herself, she gives me what i need, i don't need to fight for anything. There is no high highs and low lows anymore, no roller-coaster. Maybe that's why it all feels weird?
Wow.... lightbulb moment.
