I'm seeing red. I get so angry that I can't stand it and I just lose it and start crying. I don't even want to go in public cause I get so upset by the tiniest thing and I don't want to lose it in front of a bunch of random people. Everyone is always telling me how strong I am for the crazy stuff I've had to go through, but what no one ever realizes is that every one of those bad experiences had to do with people treating me in a negative and sometimes abusive way. I don't trust people and I'm so infuriated about being hurt over and over. It's taken control of the last month to the point where I am having to stay isolated so I don't act like a jerk.

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