your t has a point. my bp cycles come in a definite pattern and I was able to track them by going through my journals because I only wrote when I was doing bad. I can sense your discouragement about what is the point though. I too feel that no matter what I do I will always be crazy. fortunately, after a couple of grueling miserable years, I found the right medications to stabilize me and haven't cycled for a while. I hope you can too. take care.