I get the video's that play out in my head usually when I'm depressed I can actually see myself committing suicide. When I'm manic I can "watch" myself commit homicide. One "scene" stops and another replaces it seconds later for hours on end. I tell my husband when I'm worried that I won't realize if I was actually committing homicide. Usually I take my prn that night and I'm good the next day because I'm drugged. The repetitive suicide I can watch seem to comfort me so I say nothing and don't take my prn.