(((((((((janniebug))))))))))))) I'm so sorry that you are struggling. I agree with darkeyes about the car. If you can, put that on the back burner. By next year a lot of things will have changed.

As a mom, I worry about my children so much. Can they take care of themselves if I am gone, if I get sick. And I worry about if they get sick.

It's so hard when someone we care about so much is ill. The only advice I can give is to let your dad know how much you care for him.

What if you were to write all your fears about your dad's illness and how it affects you on a sheet of paper and put it in a safe place, a box, a shelf, etc. Tell yourself that while those fears are real and valid, you are going to place them there for now so that when you are with your dad, you can concentrate on him instead. You will have time to come back to that sheet of paper later. Perhaps that will free you up to just be there with your dad and help him to feel cared for.

Best of luck to you and your family as you all work through this.