You know the answer to that at least as well as I do, and probably better: it's the nature of the beast. We can't help it. The only thing we can do is fight it, tooth and nail, so that we DON'T destroy ourselves and everything we've built (or tried to build).

Besides, you also know what going off meds cold turkey would do to you. You've been unmedicated before, right? Only now your brain is used to having those chemicals circulating around, doing their thing, and to take them all away at once would likely destabilize you in nothing flat. Yes, I know it's tempting; I occasionally flirt with the idea of going off mine, too, an idea which is promptly squashed by both my support system, who would be lined up from coast to coast waiting to gang-slap me, and my own fear of going off the deep end.

Hold on! You and I both know that this, too shall pass.......it always does. That, too, is the nature of the beast, and one of its few graces.