Quote:
Originally Posted by keeprolling
I don't think you should give up on love because you don't think you're good enough. There are plenty of other reasons to decide not to give your heart to someone but self worth is most definitely not one of them.
At the same time don't rush yourself though. Get in a relationship when you're ready, not when you're lonely. For example, I know I'm definitely not ready for a relationship right now. I'm too busy trying to focus on myself and beat my depression but eventually when I'm feeling better I'll start looking  Don't give up~ |
It seems like you were the only person, that could find something to say to me.
I'm not basing my decision just in self worth, also in self awareness, I'm the mess I am. I'm my insecurity, in the shame I feel about my self, in the rejection feeling I can't avoid, in me not being able to help anyone. I don't have nothing to say in the real world, I can't keep a conversation going on, and I'm allways thinking "what should I say next, what topic should I bring in". I'm a listener, I don't have stories or a life to tell, I don't have a life to share...and even it goes away I know I will find lots of "flaws" to be ashamed about. I fear almost any kind of intimacy with real people. And yes, I'm not good enough for the ones I get interested in...rich ones, living their lifes with liberty, given all that they want, house's that have maids, dinners and lunches following all the rules...and me, well, I don't want to start...but they called me lazy all my life.
When my school mates in the 5th grade, I mean, all my class mates, played games like truth and consequence and reunite themselves in all the breaks to play those sort of things...I was not the only that was kept asside, but I was the only one that didn't know, because nobody wanted me there. I mean those were just stupid, childish games indeed...one day my mother told me, I just let you have a boyfriend when I enter college, I was so little at that time, but I take one thing out of it and out of other things she told me...love is forbidden, every feeling you might have is just yours, if they know by what mean, they would lectured me, yelled at me, forbidden me. And what my mother thought about me during my teenage years, because she was reading my stuff I had hiden, she's paranoid, so she thought I was anging around like promiscue girl. Me? Really?
I just know I will be single, I don't need to quit on love, I need to prevent myself from hurting myself and someone else. I will never rush, I will run away.
But still, I hope you find someone that completes you. Really.