You are not pathetic. Today you just feel pathetic.

You have a wonderful way with words, paynful. Since you like to read, and watch shows and get involved with characters have you ever written? Or thought about just writing more about how you're feeling? (You explain so much about how I am feeling I want to copy and paste and send to my family

At least for me and my experience with depression the worst of it isn't the days when you feel like you are going to die, but the days of limbo when you are not motivated, feeling stuck, and like you are trapped under a weighted vest. Your head might have these fabulous notions of what you could do, but your body and mind will have no part of it. At that middling level of depression you are all too aware of what you could be doing "only if."

In limbo nothing fits right, feels right, or tastes right. Books are started but never completed. And you're glad is isn't the worst, but where is the better? The best-est?

You deserve to have your life, not give it to someone else. Depression and whatever else might be challenging you (me,too) are not you, even if they feel like they are taking over too much of your life right now. You deserve to live your life just as much, and if all you can do is make 1 phone call, 2 PC posts, and brush your teeth tomorrow: then those are your accomplishments for the day.

I will hope with you, and I bet some other PC folks will too, on days when you need us, too
bookmadness