I've been hurt a lot in the past year. A nasty breakup followed by torn friendships have been particularly painful. At times I was very emotionally dependent, now I'm the opposite. My trust is nonexistent. I don't have any desire for a relationship or marriage, ever. I don't want kids. It's damaging the sense of future I used to have. Even friendships, I don't know who really are my friends anymore. I'm not really close to anyone. And I don't allow myself to be. When people try to talk emotionally with me I push them away. I become cold and distant... It's just not how I once was. I'm wounded, and I'm trying to stuff the hurt under all these layers of composure. I don't know when this guard of safety will turn to loneliness, or if it ever will.