(((((((((((((((((((((Lilith))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry that you are feeling so sad right now. It sounds like you are on an emotional roller coaster. It seems the emotions a are so strong and you are learning new coping skills with a wonderful T. Yes it is harder when there are many to consider. But do try and stay safe. We all heal at our own rate and I hope you can accept how you are healing. Maybe you can come up with a plan that you won't spend money when you are like this? Not have access to credit cards or keep very much cash with you? I am sure you will come up wth something that works for you. Please take care.

BB