I want friends so desperately it twists like a knife in my chest.

I see other people talking and laughing and I get so jealous. I ask myself, what made them come together? what could be so interesting to keep them together everyday? I don't understand how to socially function beyond formalities and general acquaintance. When someone tries to offer me their phone number, or if they want to "hang out" with me, I panic.

I want to know how to not freak out. I tend to avoid someone if they offer to be anything more than acquaintances because I am scared they will think I am boring. I don't understand what it is that people talk about all day every day to one another that can keep a relationship of any kind together! Gosh, I feel so inadequate right now its ridiculous.

Any tips? Ideas? What am I not seeing?!