I take lamotrigine. I just started meds a few weeks ago and so I do not get them as often now but still some. This was prior to meds. I was reading some of the symptoms and I understood this as being in a state of constant depression. It's possible I have been this way for so long that I really just notice it more when it's more severe. I had an argument with a past therapist one time when I was having really strong suicidal thoughts and I was trying to argue logically about these thoughts. I had mentioned that I feel suicidal even when I am not depressed. I would ask myself when I was in a stable state if I still wanted to die. The answer was still yes. His argument was simply when I am not depressed I am still depressed.??? And my argument was I would know if I was depressed...I have been there too many times to not know. This argument took up most of our session and ended short with me running out of therapy early. I was really angry and confused. I so desperately want this to be a wrong diagnoses. I Also don't recall a lot of racing thoughts. I had a bad episode a few years back where I only slept two to three hours a night for a little over a month. It did leave me in a really bad place on the other end. My memory of that time is fuzzy so I can't remember all the symptoms. The medicine is helping though so I
may not be able to deny this much more