Quote:
Originally Posted by OneTwo12
Hello,
I've been in a wonderful relationship for a year and a half now. We're both very intimate and are completely comfortable with each other physically and emotionally. A few months ago, we decided to finally try to have sexual intercourse, and both of us were completely inexperienced in that area. I have no problem getting aroused whenever we try any sort of sexual act other than intercourse, but as soon as intercourse is the goal, I can't stay aroused.
I don't know if it's related to my anxiety, which I've had for almost my entire life, or something else. We've tried again and again, and every time I fail it's so depressing and I hate not being able to do everything I can to make my partner feel good. I feel like a poor excuse for a partner when I can't even have sex correctly, plus all of the other things my anxiety doesn't let me do.
I didn't really have any specific question when I posted this, I just wanted to get it all out and see if anyone else could relate. Thank you if you take the time to read this.
|
Performance anxiety is quite common....especially since you have made a "goal" for yourself..... Sex isn't something that should be viewed as having an "end" in my honest opinion....That's too much pressure. I know it's difficult to think of anything but a PIV orgasm when you're a virgin, but...maybe relax and let go of that thought.....
You are NOT a poor excuse for a partner.....It rarely goes as planned anyway....one person is in the mood one time and the other person is not, someone gets a charley horse, someone gets their hair stuck under an arm, someone gets the giggles, things don't fit the way we have been led to believe from anecdotes and porn sites. There's rarely a "right" way and no "perfect" outcome.....
Ease up on yourself and keep enjoying the journey....
If you're on any meds, check for side effects.