I wish I could be more specific, but for starters...

There are a few diagnotisic quizzes on this site, but they won't serve you in any real capacity. But maybe, it could give you a general sense of where to research further.

Honestly, the best place to go would be your doctor. If nothing else, they will recommend a therapist. Even people without "disorders" talk to therapist. It can be a process to find the right therapist for you, but generally, they can help you with all of the issues you listed.

I'm sorry for your frustrations. If nothing else, keep "venting" here on PC.