Hi and welcome!

Wow, but that's a tough situation. And I don't know any answers! But I think your best bet is to put all the cards out on the table. Explain what you're thinking to him the way you just explained it to us above and ask him to do the same.

Now this may be a dumb suggestion -- and I've never tried it -- but I saw an Internet website called "Journal for Two" where 2 people write their feelings out to each other in an ongoing journal. Because some of this stuff is too hard to say face-to-face! (You get all distracted by the other person being emotional, etc.) Anyway, like I said I haven't tried it, but I think it's a neat idea. Here's the link: http://www.journalfortwo.com/ Maybe something like that could help in trying to spell everything out? Maybe if you did live together, you could make some agreements about spending X amount of time apart, etc.? From what you said, I was kind of inclined to think you might do better living apart, but I can understand the financial problems. I know you have to seriously consider that. And if you can improve your relationship you might be able to have more quality time and find that living together is smoother.

Best of luck!
Sidony