I'm sorry I don't have much advice to give. I've been where you're at. I am there now. so if anything, know that you are not alone in this battle, that I am not along in this battle thank you for posting. I know you are looking for answers and I have none to give, but it has been comforting knowing that someone (you) is out there like me. so at least know that you are not alone. can I say that again, you are not alone. best of luck and feel free to pm me if wanted.