Hi River11, it sounds like you've had a really tough time in the past but to now be with your soul mate is fantastic!! Not to trivialize your problem at all, but do you think maybe just a bit more "fine tuning" in the relationship if your feelings for him/each other are that deep??
Do you think that the triggers are coming a bit more because you are in a way expecting some distance from him/less understanding to come if things are starting to feel hard. Maybe you're feeling less "safe" with him causing more triggers??
Perhaps a real heart-to-heart with him about what's causing him to be distant might help you both. Maybe he's feeling upset/frustrated/hopeless/helpless that after this time he hasn't been able to help you avoid the triggers. It's always going to be hard to see the people we really love/care about hurting, and the distance might be his reaction to that as opposed to him not caring. Perhaps he hasn't fully recognized (felt with you as far as possible) the extent of the trauma you've been through, the effects, and despite everything just how far you actually have come with him.
Perhaps you can work together on what he needs to do/what you want him to do when you're feeling triggered, then he has some part in helping you and you have something.
If he finds it hard to know what to say/do at the time then maybe agree that (if this would help!!) he just holds you for a while. Even that may offer you some comfort/reassurance, right????? And then as it's helping maybe you can further that closeness.
From that, in time, you might be able to move on more in ways he can support you when you need it.
And you know what, sometimes there's nothing wrong with being that "hurt, needy child". it can say/express so much more clearly what you're actually feeling. So sometimes just let go, and then try to use that in a way to push on a bit more "constructive/proactive" communication between you, including finding ways you can make things a bit better between you.
And maybe keep on remembering, cherishing and building on all the really positive things you have in the relationship to give you both some more strength in overcoming this???
Best wishes
Alison
P.S. if you think you need some professional help in overcoming the trauma a little more, don't hesitate to do that either.