So many of you are aware that I really like this guy. I've posted it here and have done a LOT of talking about it in chat. I just got off the phone with my best friend and we were talking about the whole relationship/crush thing.

What I've realized about myself, is that I'm the type of person who goes and gets what I want. And in this case, I'm not doing that, because I like and respect this guy enough to do what he needs to do for himself, because all I want is for him to be happy.

I need to remember that its not all up to me. And I'm trying to rid the fear of loosing him, before we even go down that road. That's the old me, the old fear talking, trying to sabotage something good that might happen, just so I don't get hurt. I hate this obsessing I've been doing, and won't do it anymore.

Granted, I can't stop the crush. I can't stop the way I feel when he's near. I can't stop the way I feel when we meet eyes, can't stop the way I feel when I know I'm going to see him.

But what I am doing, is letting it go and putting it out there in universe and waiting to see what happens. I've realized that I can't control other human beings, I can't even think that I know what the future holds. All I can do is know that whatever happens, will be best for me and for him as well.

So....I just wanted to post an update here. IF anything DOES happen, I'm sure you'll all be the first to know.....but I'm done trying to analyze, to project, to try and make it turn out the way I want it to. Because the fear of the unknown is gonna drive me mad!!!!!

F.E.A.R - False Expectations Appearing Real.

So.....let it be, like the Beatles said....and we shall see!!!!

Thanks,
~Rayna

P.S - If I'm obsessing again in chat, please redirect me to my own thread. Haha! Thanks.