Hi HenryDavid. I don't think you were being a jerk at all. If you have children they may be first, but in the situation you described why should others children come first. To me the situation you described I those others were not part of the plan.
Actually I am kind of blown away by our "honeys" reaction !! I think your honey did what he wanted to do without any consideration for you or the friend that you were going to meet at the market. And his family obviously had no consideration either.
Relationships are give and take and sorry I see you as the giver and him as a taker.
Usually I try to make sense and see both sides of situations but with your description I am thinking maybe when you leave for China (which sounds fantastic) you would be better off to find a new honey. One who appreciates you!!!!! And Cares about your feelings!!!