Thank you so much for all your suggestions. I've written letters to my school friends because I don't see them anymore but want to keep in touch. Sometimes after I write them I get stronger urges to hurt myself and it makes me really paranoid and anxious. I know some sign and I use that if I'm having an ok day but often it feels too risky to even move an average amount. When I do communicate the voices panic and that makes me panic because it takes a lot to scare the voices. I'm trying to draw and stuff and find quotes and poems and pictures that express things but people can be so clueless it just confuses them, even people I know really well, they just talk about art if I show them a picture and completely dismiss what im trying to convey. Then I get frustrated and tgey say I'm bring rude so I just curl up and give up. Anyway...I'll keep trying,but I do have to go now because typing here is scaring me.
Thanks for your suggestions and support xxxx