Hello Inkblot.
I am very sorry that you are having issues at this time. Are you in therapy? A good therapist can help you with your fear and phobias of living alone with an eating disorder and the urges that may come up living alone and controlling your eating disorder. I would suggest trying to find a therapist that specializes in eating disorders so you can move on withyour life eventually with bette coping mechanisms and mannerisms. Take care Ihope the best fo ryou Soidhonia