Um...usually he's willing to discuss, and sometimes will seem to take it on board or say he'll try to remember or even apologise that he's failed to recognise and come through etc. But then, usually, no change.
Sometimes he's gone on to say that it's not that he doesn't feel those things etc, and that he can tend to go blank or disconnect and it's not me and he's working on improving ...
Sometimes he's just frustrated by my struggle to feel loved, desired, need for reassurance and has made out it's my problem. A lot of the time it's as though he expects the situation to resolve itself and/or me to just get over it and get back to being relaxed and casually affectionate with him without that "reaching for me".

I've come to understand and accept that it's not really that he doesn't care; he's just for some reason not able to be there sometimes, and barely able to be what I need when things get disconnected.