Thank you kindly, wife22 (nice to hear from you again!).
I really think you've seen into it. That had just started to occur to me ... partly cos a retired counsellor friend I confided in had said she believed he was afraid of something; and partly out of finally getting and looking past the hurt (insulted, judged, abandoned) I felt from the way he'd refer to my times of emotional struggle as contributing to his not having lover feelings toward me.

I did try, as proposed by psychologist, asking him to just hold me when I felt hurt/needy ... It was good once, but other times if his heart is still AWOL then it just leaves me numb and estranged, at best.

As I've said, I know this is not the end (nor even the beginning of it), but just increasingly at a loss as to how to help either of us through this.

Again, I really am grateful for all of you 'listening' and being so helpful x o

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