I hate myself for my obsession. It comes and goes but always returns with a vengeance. For the past week or two I was feeling good. In the last session I told my T I had googled him and we talked a bit about it. I felt better and he normalized it for me, even telling me he had googled his own T. He said practically everyone does it.

My obsession seems to get worse when I know I have more than a week between appointments, as this week. I am skipping a week so I can enjoy my birthday with friends, rather than see him on our usual night. Last night (on here) I learned from another thread that voting records are public. Oh boy. I looked up my T, and much to my dismay, there was his address.

Not being able to stop myself I googled that too, and before I knew it I was looking at pics of the inside. This house was on the market last year and the photos are still up. It's a beautiful little house, not at all what I imagined, and I'm more jealous than ever.

Now I'm stuck. I cannot admit to this breach, no way, no how. I'm sad because I was feeling better and then I screwed it up again. I have shared with him how sometimes I get fixated on therapy but what I really meant was that I get fixated on him I HATE this!